Following our exploration of emotion and the two types of suffering, I’m going to share a simple but extremely effective technique for healing all kinds of emotional blocks.
It’s an ancient Taoist practice called dissolving.
I’ve used this technique on an almost daily basis and found to be life-changing. It’s one of the most important tools you will ever learn for dealing with your emotions. In fact, I believe it should be taught in all schools!
Its beauty is its simplicity and effectiveness.
All you need is some quiet time to yourself. This meditation uses the power of your focused attention in a way that can only be described alchemical.
Follow the instructions below (I may, in fact, record it as a guided meditation).
As you get used to the process you’ll find you can do it almost any time, anywhere — wherever and whenever you need to work on resolving a troubling emotion.
How does it work?
The first thing is to understand that everything is simply energy vibrating at different frequencies.
The ancient Taoist sages called this energy ‘qi’ (pronounced ‘chee’) and spoke of it as the primordial life force within and pervading all things. The entire phenomenal universe is simply the dance of this creative life force.
Without this qi, or life force, our body would be nothing more than an inert and insentient lump of matter. It’s this all-pervading energy that brings us life, energy and motion.
It’s in the trees, in flowers, in animals, it’s animating the stars, keeping the planets spinning in orbit — and it’s in you, too. It’s the force that keeps your heart beating, your eyes seeing, your lungs breathing and your hairs and fingernails growing.
When this energy flows smoothly, you experience health, vitality and well-being, physically, mentally and emotionally.
Like water, it’s the nature of qi to flow unobstructed.
But when the flow is obstructed, your energy contracts. Blocks are created. The qi becomes stagnant, and at the site of these blockages, you experience pain and discomfort, whether physical, emotional or both.
It’s usually quite easy to pinpoint where the block is because it’s where you experience the emotional pain in your body.
How to dissolve emotional pain
Dissolving is a simple practice. All you need to do is find where you’re experiencing the emotional pain and bring your sustained attention to it.
Holding the sensations in your awareness will, with the right amount of focus and perseverance, begin to dissolve the emotional block in much the same way as sunlight dissolves ice.
But you don’t have to take my word for it!
Try this technique for yourself, and see what happens.
1. Become aware of where you’re experiencing the emotional pain or sense of contraction and unease.
Where is it in your body?
Scan your body from head to foot and see if you can pinpoint the emotional discomfort.
Is it in your throat, shoulders, chest, heart, solar plexus, or in the pit of your belly?
2. Once you’ve located the source of the emotional pain, give it a label.
What does it feel like?
Is it sadness, anxiety, fear, dread, jealousy or grief?
What is the quality of the emotion? How do you perceive it? Can you sense it as a colour, or shape, or vibration?
It may not feel good, but be willing to approach it with courage and objectivity.
Don’t let your mind get lost in thought and stories about this pain and why you’re feeling it. Let go of memories or projections about the future. Right now, it doesn’t matter who or what caused it.
3. Rather than resisting it, which is our natural tendency when we feel discomfort or pain, just allow it to be there.
Accept that whether you like it or not, the feeling is there.
See if you can allow it, and even welcome it.
Let go of any resistance to it
It’s our resistance to emotional pain that tends to perpetuate it. It’s essential to create an open space of acceptance and allowing.
4. Now, keep your attention on the emotion. Whenever your mind wanders, bring it back to this part of the body.
With laser-like precision, keep your awareness focused on the area, with an attitude of acceptance and allowing.
You’re not trying to change it. You’re simply allowing it to be.
As you do this, you’ll notice that the contracted energy gradually begins to relax.
The Taoists use the analogy that blocked qi is like ice. The emotion usually feels solid, like an obstruction. By keeping your focused attention on this sensation, in time you’ll feel it begin to dissolve. The ice will start to melt. The sense of contraction and constriction loosens. The intensity of the pain begins to subside and you feel freer and more open.
All you’re doing is bringing your attention to what you feel. You’re not even trying to get rid of it. That only creates more resistance.
Paradoxically, you’re allowing it to be there while the light of your awareness is gradually melting it.
As you keep focusing on it, for as long as you need to, you’ll feel the sensation of hardness yielding to softness and openness. The ice becomes like water and then the water eventually dissolves into air. Where before there was an obstruction, now you experience openness and release.
Give yourself as much time as you need to do this.
Sometimes you’ll feel a sense of release after only a few minutes. Other times it may require much more time. You might clear the entire block in a single sitting, or it may require you to do this meditation repeatedly.
It will work, however. This practice can heal layers of emotional suffering accumulated over many years. It does require some courage to face your emotions head on and persistence to keep shining the light of your awareness on them.
One last step
Bearing in mind that emotions serve as messengers, it might be helpful to take an objective look at why you were feeling that way.
Was it simply a case of dashed expectations? Was it a natural grief over some kind of loss? Was it caused by unrealistic thinking or not getting what you wanted in some way?
Sometimes our emotions are a signal that there’s something going on in our life that needs attention.
Is there a certain situation you need to look at in your life? Are you living according to your values and dharma? Is someone mistreating you? Is there any action you need to take to help yourself or improve a certain situation?
Try not to get caught up in mental storytelling. Remain objective and clear-minded, as if you were dispassionately looking at someone else’s life situation.
See what answers come to you. Then commit to taking any action you feel is appropriate.
Use the above meditation as often as you need to. Believe me, it’s a real game-changer and a wonderful tool to have at your disposal when it comes to managing and healing emotions and all kinds of other blocks.
In order to really learn to liberate your mind and master emotions, I highly recommend learning to use and apply the karma yoga mindset and learn to understand and balance the three gunas. As far as I’m concerned those are two of the greatest life hacks you will ever come across and it will revolutionise your entire life.
If you have any questions or comments, please don’t hesitate to contact me.
